“Honestly, I’m a very nice guy.”
Usually, that’s the first sign you’re not. I got that lovely line last night from a dude who tried, against his best interest, to chat me up. He got nothing but a scowl and some snarky remarks in response. Though apparently, being a stone cold bitch doesn’t do much to dissuade the masochistic.
Also, whoever said I was looking for nice guys? Nice is boring. Most of my great male friends are interesting guys with more than a hint of asshole. But that’s okay, as long as the assholery isn’t directed at me.
Photo: Snowed in at JFK
A friend of mine recently split with her boyfriend because, as she put it, they just got bored. She wasn’t heartbroken, but annoyed with the fact that she has to start dating again. And she hates dating.
I finally figured out that when people proclaim they hate dating, they’re describing it like they do traveling. Most people when asked what they would do if they had some time and some extra money would answer travel. And while the idea of going to the south of France and laying out in the sun sounds amazing, most people despise packing, airports and plane rides.
The process is the pain.
We want to be in relationships, we want to fall in love, but getting there can be painful and annoying. We all have dating horror stories just like we have stories of bad plane food and lost luggage.
But every once in a while we have a great date, that turns into great dates, that turns into a relationship. And then you sigh with relief that you do not have to date anymore.
And this is probably why her relationship and my own past relationships went dry.
But I think I figured it out. My solution to this problem of relationships gone boring is to date my girlfriend.
Sure you have dinner every night, but it’s something we think of after we come home from work sprawled out on the couch. We’ll catch a movie because we see posters of it together waiting for a train to roll by. You’ll go to the occasional concert or party together. But that’s two people in a relationship. That’s not dating.
Dating is a planned seduction. You’re trying to get the other person to like you. Be interested in you. Vice versa. It’s exciting because you’re anticipating the actual day. And if all goes well, you want to tell everyone you know about it.
And that’s where I’m sure most people think to themselves why the hell do I need to date my girlfriend if we’re already in a relationship. To continue with this travel analogy, I would compare it to arriving to the south of France and staying in your hotel room the whole time. Technically you’re there, but you’re not really there. You’re not actively having a great time, and this is probably where most of my past relationships went wrong. I forgot how fun dating the right person could be.
Photo: Getting my ass kicked
My girlfriend and I go on dates at least once a week now. We plan it via Google Calendar. It doesn’t sound so romantic, I know, but it’s convenient and allows you to write witty date pitches. Sometimes it’s a nice dinner and a show where we dress up, but lately it’s been competitive recreational activities like archery, bowling and soon drunk ping pong.
We’ve already seduced each other. We already know we like each other. So what’s left but to shoot arrows to see who makes dinner.
So far I’ve lost every single wagered competition date we’ve had, but at least I know I’m not losing us anytime soon.
For future reference, should I ever decide to date again.
(Source: peternyc)
